This is for girls who’ve grown to love dark rooms
Grown to love the dark and sitting alone
Crying on the bedroom floor
As I sit and stare through the window, I am reminded that there are things which lie beyond
This space
This place
This exhibition of solitude
Silently serenading the love songs that reminded me of you
This, is the last poem I will write about you…
You boasted of shallow confidence
And your eyes made my mouth water
I saw my father in you
They say women are emotional…
Maybe it’s because we carry the emotions of boys
Who we borrowed hoodies from
We wore those wolves’ coverings as if they were our own
Stood in the mirror
Barely recognizing ourselves
We proudly wore your pelts
Temporarily took away the pain you felt
When she broke your heart
And you came running, looking for help…
This is for the girls who never loved themselves enough to be
Angry at a boy for leaving them
Just because mama never cried every single day of her life
Never taught you from birth
How to break the bones of boys who are to blame
Never cussed and made threats
When admitting her title of miss,
Even though she has two kids
Doesn’t mean it was okay for her to not have the man who helped make you by her side.
Peace comes from a broken heart
But never be afraid to feel
When he’s hurt you
Never be afraid to admit the depths of pain that he’s caused you
Don’t let another sun set
With tears clinging onto your eyelashes
Let it go
Let him know
His words are a tattoos you both agreed on
But he was never serious about
Yet, he was never fearful in holding you
And didn’t think twice of the risk that you just might get attached
We’ve been attacked
Fallen victim to dark rooms
Where we unveil our masks
Men become boys
And women, weak, heed to their sleek talks and gentle touch
Slight grab and hand tucked under your waist
Declaring your body as their new found territory
Sticks his flag inside your earth
You’ve been conquered.
The bed was never made to be a battleground
That’s why you can’t sleep
Loneliness fought its way into our comfort zones
Now our bedrooms are graveyards
With tombstones inscribed with poetry
Even though he’s no longer around
Those who enter this space
Have to pay their respects to him.
This is the last poem I will write about him.
For I have chosen to press shut down on this conflict
We deserve more than lies and prototypes of incomplete men
There is a window
With a road on the other side
And the sun rise, marking its finish line
So today, I will choose to resurrect hope
And hug the Son back
Thankful for His ever-open arms
I’ll release all the bitterness I had towards him
Into the atmosphere
For he has gained his wings
And his weight is no longer too heavy on me
For there is something
Which lies beyond this space
His excuses will not become me
The only thing I will retain is the memories
And pretty soon, they too must fade away
Whatever my lot, Thou hast taught me to say,
It is well, it is well with my soul!
I will no longer try to fill this hole
In the morning when I rise,
Give me Jesus.
Dark midnight was my cry,
Give me Jesus.
And when I’m come to die,
Give me Jesus.
Only He can make me whole.
